Original Blog Entry found here: Generations for Life - Parenthood vs Anti-Parenthood
I found this blog while searching for a term for being an adult who chooses not to procreate. It’s an interesting read though I find the post laced with religious views and a sense of hostility towards people who believe differently than the poster. Hence my response to it.
As anyone who knows me can attest to, I’m very opinionated. And in most cases refuse to believe anyone else can ever be right except me. It’s not that I’m arrogant, I just feel I take the time to try to understand all angles of a situation before I make my opinion. Thus even if you don’t agree with my opinion I feel it’s the most right. Now that I’ve pissed you all off let me begin my analysis and retort to this … strange blog entry.
The original poster first mentions that anti-parenthood people refer to parents as “Breeders”. Personally, I’ve never heard this term nor the attitude this term implies. Not a single one of the people I know have ever referred to a parent in this regard. I’ve always held parents in a high regard as being selfless people who give up their own freedoms and life goals to take care of their children. The only parents I hold with a low regard are those not worthy of having the title. People who got pregnant then treat the child poorly, or abandon it, or do something else I would deem morally inappropriate. So in this area, I heavily disagree with the original poster.
Also it is mentioned that people who choose not to have children are broken and ultimately selfish. I fail to see the validity of this statement. Yes I am broken, but I don’t see how having children will fix this. I am not a selfish person, I give of myself without expecting return often. It doesn’t always have to be as severe as giving my life for another, but I don’t see myself as a selfish person. In fact I see myself as quite generous. So once again, I heavily disagree with this statement.
Now that I’ve address two of the biggest statements in that blog, let me move on to my point of view on the subject.
For the longest time I have adamantly been seeking out marriage and family. It’s something I never had growing up. I’ve never been close to my family. I’ve never experienced the unconditional love that a parent is supposed to have for their child. It’s something I missed out on that I feel broke me in some way. So I’ve spent years looking for it. So avidly that I’ve messed up the rest of my life in the meantime. Knowing this it’s quite a shock to me that I am now what has been labeled, “Anti-Parenthood”.
My choice came about for a variety of reasons. I feel there are too many people in the world as it is. I see families with 4 or more children and I don’t understand it. We live in a world of rapidly depleting resources, how can you feel it’s acceptable to reproduce in numbers like that? In China the population is allowed 1 child due to the huge volume of people there. I don’t want the US to get like that. I’m not going to go around telling people to stop reproducing but I do feel some people go a little crazy when it comes to kids.
Due to my childhood I don’t have a strong sense of paternal instincts. I’m sure I would be a very loving father given the chance, it’s just my nature. It’s not even that I dislike kids. I get along with them just fine. I just don’t feel I would do well taking care of a child, mentoring them, being their role model on my own. Which actually brings me to the next reason.
I refuse to be a single parent. And my experiences and luck with women leads me to believe that if I ever went the route of having kids with one, I’d end up a single parent. Even if I got married I don’t see it lasting. I have extremely poor taste in partners for the most part. I always pick the ones that are fun but not necessarily right for me long term. I also refuse to have children before getting married. So with that in mind if I don’t feel I’m going to get married, I sincerely doubt the likeliness of having kids. And rather than look at it as something I’ve been denied I’ve taken the route to make it my choice.
To bring it all back to the point. Yes, I am broken. No, I don’t believe a child will fix me. I have no disdain for people who are parents I only wish those who have multiple kids start looking at the big picture and realize there’s no real need to have 12 kids or even 6. Quality over quantity maybe? I don’t feel I am a bad person, or a selfish person, or a hate monger for choosing not to have children. I feel I made a choice because my life and my situation does not seem like a good environment for children.
After the guys were done playing we had a couple drinks with them, they’re a good bunch of people. I haven’t known many local bands to actually give their fans any amount of personal time.